Musings of a Painter
Direction, influence, impact intention: If positive is everything and negative is nothing, then every positive feeds itself and every negative is wasted energy in the void. So do we want to direct towards a positive or negative result? Impact occurs at every moment of every day, whether it’s our own thoughts or the design of the world outside our thought. In which circumstance is positive, negative, rude or subtle impact the most effective? How much and in what direction so we allow or expect impact to have on influence? Intention is the direct results of our needs, expectations and insecurities. We are taught to fight the self-serving instinct by serving others but how can I see what you want through my kaleidoscope of intention? Why do people intend to direct grief as their impact? By choosing to influence, you trust that your sensibilities should supersede those of your target, although you are often trying to compensate your insecurities with a feeling of superiority and power.
Choice, change, fear, despair: Choice is the gift given to determine our direction. Fear and change go hand in hand because change takes us out of what we’ve climatized ourselves to accept when we don’t know what it (change) will feel like and fear is always of a coming change.
Desire, drive, determination, growth: Desire is a craving to fill what we perceive as holes in our lives. Drive and determination can be a detriment as well as an asset. If you push hard to achieve your goals, but blindly go in a negative direction, you get much further down the wrong road than caution would allow. Growth is something that never stops and in a positive direction should always have determination, drive and especially desire. If we are always impacting and being impacted, then that in essence we are like balls constantly in motion and those that live their lives being a positive influence are giants! We should hope that we have enough desire, drive and determination to grow in their footsteps. Unfortunately we are far too simple to judge for ourselves.
Inspiration, impulse, focus, freedom: Inspiration is a gift that turns toil into pleasure. Impulse is a fool’s excuse for throwing caution to the wind by trying to fill their desire no matter what the consequence. Impulse is hollow and will likely never fulfill your desires. One of our greatest desires is freedom. Freedom of the mind is far more powerful than of the body and to have this you must have truth, and to have truth you must have focus and direction. Serendipity and avoidance will never find truth. You must believe and pass many test to find the thrill of freedom. Truth can impact very hard and create a seemingly impossible work load but that is the price of freedom. So I beg you, set me free and inspire me to do Gods work. (I feel so exposed)
2005 ish
